Natalie

I fell in love with this song. So I'm posting the lyrics.

 Hate the way you look at me
Like you can tell so much about my life,
My life
Assassinate so carelessly
So assured how sweet you twist the knife
Don't you know I'm just a lot like you
I need all the Godly things that you do
When you're alone, at night, do you run and hide?
Are you strong, inside, are you full of pride?
Or just petrified
Hate the way you look at me
But I can see the terror in your eyes
Your eyes
You pull the trigger
Your smile is sweet
But I don't care if we never meet
That's fine
It's alright
Don't you know I'm just a lot like you
I need all the Godly things that you do
When you're alone, at night, do you run and hide?
Are you strong, inside, are you full of pride?
Or just petrified
When you're alone, at night, do you run and hide?
Are you strong, inside, are you full of pride?
Or just petrified
Take a look at your life
Take a look in my eyes
Take a look at your life
Take a look in my eyes
Take a look at your life
Are you petrified...

Petrified(Taboo)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD8TS21APxI
next to normal

(no subject)

 

Okay. I was looking at the-unpopular-opinions blog and came across this.
This hurt.
Almost NOTHING bothers me more than when people say “that’s retarded.” It’s rude, it’s offensive, and it just plain hurts.
Why do I get so upset about this?
My little sister has fucking Downs Syndrome.
I love her so much. That’s why anytime one of my friends calls something “retarded,” I tell them not to say that.
I know it's unintentional, but when you guys say stuff like that, it's an insult. 
jennifer damiano

I'm not sad that we broke up.

 It was time, and I knew it wasn't going to last forever. He's a great guy. Just not the guy for me.

I’m just sad that things aren’t going to be the same ever again between us. We were such good friends and now that’s gone.

And it hurts. A lot.

He's already flirting with other girls and it's barely been a day. 

I'm sorry dude, but do you think this breakup was any easier for me than for you? Just because I'm the one who initiated it doesn't mean I'm hurting any less.


For the next few days, I'm just surrounding myself with my girlfriends. It's what I need right now. Alice and Madi yesterday, Rachel today (because she understands what I'm going through like, perfectly) and church tomorrow (hallelujah).

Monday will be interesting. How do I react...we agreed that we could still be friends but he ignored my text checking up on him yesterday, plus his mom isn't too fond of me anymore. Should I not even speak to him, or just say a quick good morning, how are you, and see how things go from there?

I hate men. Never dating a guy friend ever again. It's not that I dumped someone; it's that I lost a friend.
next to normal

http://colorgenicstest.com

 You are striving to make favourable impressions all of the time and you are going out of your way to make the impression that you are something special. You are constantly on the watch to see how your friends and neighbours are reacting to your various ploys. But this is so unnecessary because most of the time you are in control of the situation - and you are, in the nicest sense of the word, a 'manipulator' because you use various strategies very cleverly in order to influence and obtain the necessary recognition.

You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you.

You are feeling under considerable pressure and you are being forced to make concessions. You are not particularly happy with this state of affairs but you feel that you have no alternative. If you were to force issues you would be left out or completely ignored by one and all.

There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons - mostly of your own making - your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate - someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.

Overwork - be it mental stress or physical strain, you are completely worn out and this depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel disappointed with your obvious lack of energy and powerless to do anything about it. You are angry with yourself and this frustration shows. You are contradictory and argumentative and feel helpless to change the situation at this time. Take a break - even if it is only for a few days - allow yourself to breath, to unwind - you'll feel much better for it. Then trust and let go.

Bolded the truths.
Whoa.
Natalie

Got a demon in your soul....

 Meeeeeeep.
I feel like I should say something.
I don't know what.
I guess just...I'm sorry.
I've learned my lesson. I was pmsing when I posted my previous post and therefore all hell was breaking lose. I just needed to feel loved. 
I know I'm loved. I'm very lucky to have all my friends. I thank God for them and I know that I'm super duper blessed.
But you know what?
So are you guys.
You may have had a shitty week, or a tough period in your life. Me too. If you know me well and we're close, then you know about the hell I went through a few years ago. If not, here we go.

Collapse )

Luckily, that's more or less behind me. There's still the occasional relapse, or almost-anxiety attack. I still see my psychiatrist every few months. Still taking Prozac. But I'm here. I'm alive. I don't know if I would be if it wasn't for you guys. 

And I want you guys to know - and don't you *dare* deny me on this - that there is hope. Things DO get better. I promise. If you meet the right people and build your own support group, you can become almost sane (therapy isn't the devil; something my friends need to learn). 

Whether or not you believe me, everyone who reads this is loved. I promise you. You're loved and wanted by someone. And for my friends who deal with depression: Smile. You're beautiful. You're loved. And when you're upset, it upsets me. I want you to know you can come to me and we'll get through it together.